At 39 weeks… Wednesday, July 8, 2009

 

All the arduous walking down and up long flight of stairs and all the leg numbing walks were for naught. After two weeks of looking like a beggarly poor old pregnant woman who couldn’t afford a ride, trudging the streets laboriously, I’m still a long way from entering “the labor” stage. It sounds funny but it’s beginning to feel like I’m never gonna give birth and will always be pregnant. Even my ankles and feet, which now look suspiciously like those of an elephant’s, are beginning to feel the brunt of every step, what with the gravitational pull of my heavy weight.

 

I am now officially in my 39th week and technically three days past my ninth month [if I'm gonna guess the actual conception date]. I just can’t stand the waiting anymore. Not to mention the waiting to eat rice at least two times a day and eat whatever I fancy.

 

So, you see, I don’t only look like I don’t have a penny to my name whenever I’m walking around, I also look like a salivating scrounger as I eye every food my eyes will lay on.

 

But the thing that really saddens me is that I may never go into labor on my own. My OB’s educated guess is that I do have a small pelvic bone and having a big baby (estimated to be over 8pounds now from last scan) makes it hard and impossible for its head to slide through my cervical opening and pressure it into dilating. The hospital where I’m set to give birth also has a clearance of 8 pounds and 6.04 oz for a safe vaginal birth, which means I may have to have a CS delivery.

 

It is overwhelmingly disheartening to think that I may never experience the pain of labor and giving birth naturally. That I will not have that sense of accomplishment and pride every mother experiences after delivering vaginally. I hope I can say for sure that my next pregnancy will be normal but having a CS does decrease the chances of future normal delivery if the complications and risks were to be considered. And from what I’ve read, there are still a lot of controversies surrounding VBAC [vaginal birth after ceasarian].

 

So, we’re set to have labor induction if I don’t go into spontaneous labor anytime soon and that I may end up having a CS if the induction will not be successful.

 

It’s truly dejecting but if it comes down to my baby’s safety, I’ll have a CS anyday than have that self-fulfillment from delivering a baby vaginally. I’m sure the husband feels the same way too, even if his eyes shone one night we thought I was laboring already and will gonna have a normal delivery. I guess dads to be also long for that heady rush of excitement when they have to dash their pregnant wives to the hospital for an imminent delivery.